I want a Divorce

*knock knock*  Is anyone out there?

It's been a while.

I'm not writing this post for anyone except myself.  If you're reading it, it's not because I led you here.  I'm just trying to give myself a swift kick in the ass.

It's time to wake up.  It's time to stop screwing around with my life.  It's time to start behaving as if I want to live.

Because right now, I'm dying.

I'm not in immediate physical peril, but I am dying.  My biggest issue is that I'm accelerating the process with choices that are obviously detrimental to my well-being.  In the last couple of years - the time between writing my last post and this one - I've seen some pretty dramatic (and mostly negative) changes in my corpus mundi.

First and most obvious is the fact that I am bloated and fat around the middle.  I'm squeezing my ass into 38" pants - a far cry from the 34" pants that I was wearing just a couple of years ago.  How much discomfort is required to break the pattern of destructive behaviors that will quite literally kill me much sooner than I am ready?  Reflect back to yesterday and the 36" adjustable waist pants that you were wearing that felt like they were crushing your junk every time you sat down.  Do you need to feel like you're trapping your nuts in a fabric vise every day before you say, "Screw this.  Let's fix it"?

You haven't slept in a proper bed for years.  The couch is being ruined because your loud-ass snoring self is sleeping on it night after night.  The effects of this behavior are obvious - your wife sleeps alone in a separate room because your wall-shaking snoring keeps her awake; your relationship with her WILL suffer ill effects of such separation.  Do you even care?

Your body is constantly racked with pain.  Your knees are being stretched beyond their normal limits.  Your shoulders are constantly in pain due to the way you fold them over each other at night.

Your example to others in the dojo is not a good one.  You are yudansha.  Your body is one area of the self that you should control, and yet you treat your body with contempt.  Is that what you want for students who look to you for what it means to be yudansha?  Is that honor so insignificant that you blow off the responsibility of being a proper example?

Let's not forget that nidan testing is coming, and in your condition the test might very well kill you.

Yours is not healthy behavior.

And what's with all of the shit you are eating?  Your online bank statement reads like a who's who of fast food joints in town.  Whatever happened to eating food... you know - REAL food.  Fruits, vegetables, whole meats - that stuff that is good for you - should be the norm, not the preservative-laden pseudo-food that you've been eating non-stop for the last few years.

Let's list a few other symptoms that are besetting you right now:

• heartburn
• abdominal pain
• ulcers
• headaches
• fatigue
• sore feet
• mood swings
• digestive issues
• crappy skin
• chest pain/pressure
• numbness/burning in your leg (compressed disc)

Man.  Looks like life is great.  You appear to be doing everything right - if you're looking to park yourself in a 6' hole...

Yep.  Time to fix this problem.  And not just for yourself.

C'mon man!  Look at this website you've built here.  Look at the after pics from just a few years ago.  YOU LOOKED EFFING GOOD for a dude in his late 30's/early 40's.  GET THAT SHIT BACK while you're still alive to enjoy it!

Last point, and maybe this will push you down that better road.  4 kids.  You've got 4 kids that are counting on you to see them graduate.  2 girls that want you around to walk them down the aisle.  2 boys that would probably want you to see the kind of man they grew up to be but still need to call when they have a question.  4 kids that want to have a father for years and years to come.  You're dicking around with THEIR futures, pal.  Not just your own.

Now.  When you get home this afternoon, you greet your wife.  You tell her, "Honey.  I love you and the kids very much, and I'm sorry I've been treating my body like shit.  I'm changing things, starting right now."  Then get a bottle of water and drink it.  Grab some good food and eat it.  Then walk that beautiful woman you married down to work and get your ass home, into a change of clothes, and off to the gym.

Sweat.

Breathe.

Struggle a bit.

And live.

And when you get home, take a long hard look in the mirror.  Tell that dying entity looking back at you that you're tired of being in pain.  You're tired of the struggle.  Tell him that you're done with him.  You're moving on.

I want a divorce.  From my lazy, fast-food-eating, unhealthy 'other' side.  And that divorce is final as of today.

44 years old is not too late to change your life.  In fact, it's just the beginning...

From the Heart...

I haven't planned this blog entry.  I haven't written notes or anything.  I'm just coming from the heart on this one.  Shooting from the hip, as it were.

I am a human being - prone to failures and fallings.  Recently, I've been mired in a bit of self-imposed guilt-ridden laziness that has prevented me from doing the things that are necessary to be effective as a mouthpiece on this website.  Alice and I were talking yesterday about how much easier writing for Wo40.com is when we're in the gym.  Until just a couple weeks ago, we weren't even members of a gym; we let our membership expire about a year ago.  After that membership expired, it was just a matter of attrition that stopped our writing about fitness related activities.

Our diet soon followed our exercise patterns and subsequently went to hell.

Now, that's not to say we've stopped exercising and given up totally on our health.  Not at all.  We still train in karate at least 3 days a week in addition to walking all over - to the store, to the post office, to the bank.  Physically we're not in a bad way.  We're just not training as hard as we could (or should).

Now, before people write this entry off as a "poor poor pitiful me" post, let me clear up the intent of this post: We are normal people living in a normal world with normal issues.  When I read other fitness blogs, I'm sometimes led to believe that everyone else has got it all together - that they never stray from their diet and never miss a day in the gym.  The truth of the matter is likely that they (those other bloggers) are likely no different from us.  There are ups.  There are downs.  There are times when they wonder why in the hell they're going through the pain of exercising.  There are times when they eat like crap.  The difference is that they might not talk about it publicly.

I'm here to tell you that Alice and I are not paragons of healthy virtue.  We eat junk.  We drink soda.  But those activities do not define us as voices in the fitness world.  Eating the way I do, I still come in at under 200 pounds because I work exceptionally hard in the dojo (my karate training hall).  Alice is still a lean mom of 4 that a good many women envy for the size 4 she wears.  She, too, works incredibly hard in the dojo, despite injury setbacks and a conflicting work schedule.

So, we're fairly normal.  Our chief goal is to be better today than we were yesterday.

If that's all you ever ask of yourself, then you're on a pretty good path.

Be well!

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Growing or Dying

Years ago someone told me this simple truth:
Nothing in life is ever stagnant.  Everything is either growing or it is dying.  There is no middle ground.

As long as someone chooses to do nothing beneficial to his health, he will be in a state of gradual dying.  Chances are likely that you know people who have chosen just such a life.  The light of life has left them.  Their fondest desire is to make it to the weekend so they can "rest" - the code word for doing absolutely nothing.  Their most exertive activity is walking to and from the car or fridge.

A person in this state of existence surely is dying.  They are essentially committing protracted suicide.  Their inert bodies cease to function properly.  Body systems begin to weaken.  Muscles atrophy until the very act of standing and walking becomes a labor.  The weakened body becomes susceptible to sickness and disease - type-2 diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, cancer, and a host of other maladies - until it just gives up.  Everything stops.

Death.

Contrast all of that dying with the person whose body is constantly in motion (relatively speaking, of course).  The muscles get stronger, the body leaner, and the senses sharper.  This body is growing, changing for the better.  LIVING.

It's all a matter of choice.  Our human condition affords us the uncanny opportunity to choose which path to walk.  We can choose to get up and move or sit down and vegetate.  We choose to live, or we choose to die.

Often a choice is never made; one just engages in death by default because the choice to grow and live was never made.  There is no escaping choice (cue The Matrix Reloaded music).

Sometimes people are fooled into thinking that they no longer have a choice - they're too old or too fat to get moving.  These delusions are the by-product of an earlier forgotten choice (or failure to make a choice) to let death have its way for however long it takes to run its course.

However it works out, the fact remains: people are where they are because they choose to be there.

Occupying the middle ground is impossible, because, well, the middle ground does not exist.  The minute one stops exercising, the minute he stops engaging in regular movement, or the minute he decides to go back to eating junk is the same minute his body begins the regressive path toward death.  There is no "in between" place.  Sure, the body will take time to add the pounds back on, but the dying process truly began with the choice to neglect the body and its needs.

We all face the same choice - growing or dying.  Refusing or failing to choose is the equal to choosing the path toward an early grave.  Choosing to grow through exercise and nutrition is a choice to live.

It doesn't get any clearer than that.

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6 Reasons to Work Out with Your Lover

What better person to bring into your fitness routine than the one that means the most to you?  The benefits to both partners are numerous - better health, fewer doctor's visits, and less money spent on prescriptions among them. 

That's all well and good, but let's look at 6 better reasons to work out with your partner - reasons that will strengthen both your bodies and your relationship.

1 - Stick-to-it-tive-ness.  Studies have shown that up to 94% of couples that engage in a training regimen together are more likely to stick to it long-term.  Considering the frequency with which individuals just stop their training due to a lack of accountability, there's a lot to be said for the accountability that comes from having someone in your own home to answer to when you're sipping on a beer while sitting in the La-Z-Boy.

2 - The Adventure.  Couples open themselves to entirely new worlds to explore when they are on a fitness quest.  Nature hikes, runs on the beach, and taking bicycle rides are just some of the adventurous things you can do when you step out of the gym and have a little getaway time.  Seeking out new places to visit and how to have fun workouts while you're there is a great way to bond as a couple.  And it's fun, too!

3 - Bonding.  Few things compare to watching your partner overcome the tough reps or gut out the last 30 seconds of a high intensity interval.  When you are the one standing over that bench encouraging them to pushpushpush to finish that last rep, something happens to BOTH partners.  The working partner gets the energy that comes from the encouragement, and the spotting partner feels pride for having witnessed the one he or she loves overcome adversity to become a better person.  Great feelings on both ends of that spectrum.

4 - Common Interest.  With busy lives and individual careers pushing partners in opposite directions, it's a blessing to have at least one activity in which both partners can equally participate.  Fitness training gives partners something to do together and something to discuss outside of the gym.  Contrast that with couples that do not share common interests.  They eventually have nothing to talk about, since the "How was your day?" line of conversation only goes so far.

5 - Kid-Free Time.  Parents often find that time without children comes at a premium.  An hour a day at the gym can be a blessing to uninterrupted communication.  More important, the kid-free time gives partners the opportunity to focus their attention solely on each other.  Nothing but good can come from that!

6 - The SEX!  What else could conceivably happen when both partners are bonding, self-improving, and getting in great shape?  Fantastic sex is a natural by-product of all the other benefits of working out with your partner.  When both of you look great, have higher self-esteem, and have boosted testosterone levels, you will find it more difficult to keep your hands off of each other.  Not only will the sex be more frequent, but it will also be more intense and satisfying.

Ready to hit the gym?

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9 Foods to Heat Up Your Love Life

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and stores are sporting copious amounts of pink and red merchandise.  It’s that time of year when men are especially pressured to pull out the romance.  Instead of wooing that special someone with a box of chocolates (which also contain loads of refined sugar, fat, and often chemical coloring and flavor.  Blech!), why not show her how much you care with a meal of foods that are not only good for the body, but boost the libido. Here’s a list to get you started.

1. Oysters.  Long-touted as an aphrodisiac, oysters do not disappoint.  Oysters are high in zinc, which is essential in maintaining healthy levels of testosterone (a hormone directly related to sex drive in both men and women).  Oysters also offer a boost of dopamine, a hormone which increases libido.  Consuming them raw seems to be most effective.

2. Garlic.  This flavorful bulb contains allicin, which improves blood flow to the sexual organs.  Just don’t forget the breath mints.

3. Basil.  It’s not just for Italians anymore.  High in antioxidants, this flavorful herb is said to increase circulation, stimulate sex drive, and boost fertility.  Plus the aroma of basil is intoxicating.  Basil oil was traditionally used by Mediterranean prostitutes to attract customers (and not just for their famous pasta dishes).  The aroma of basil can also help foster a sense of general well-being, which helps shed stress and can allow us to more easily enjoy “bedroom activities”. 

4. Asparagus.  Aside from its slightly phallic appearance, asparagus is also a good source of vitamin E.  Often called the “sex vitamin”, vitamin E aids the body in hormone production which enhances mood and sexual desire.  As an added benefit, Vitamin E helps prevent aging and natural sexual longevity.  Vitamin E has also been used by some women as a sexual lubricant to heighten sensitivity.  Although what you do with your asparagus is entirely up to you. 

5. Avocado.  Known to the Aztecs as ahuacatal, or “testicle tree”, avocados help increase libido for both genders.  Its high levels of folic acid assist the body in metabolizing protein, resulting in increased energy levels.  Obviously a good thing inside and outside the bedroom.

6. Almonds.  The high levels of essential fatty acids found in almonds, provide the basis for healthy male hormone levels which regulate sex drive.  What’s in it for your lady?  Studies show that just the smell of almonds can act as an aphrodisiac for women.  Makes me wonder why there isn’t more almond-scented aftershave out there on the market.

7. Nutmeg.  This wonderfully aromatic spice has traditionally been used in Indian medicine to boost libido.  Recent animal studies have shown nutmeg to have the same effect as the drug Viagra on mating behavior. 

8. Chilies.  Capsaicin, the substance that lends chilies their heat, can also lend some heat to your love life.  It stimulates nerve endings, raises heart rate, and triggers the release of endorphins causing you to just feel doggone great.

9. Dark Chocolate.  A 2006 study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women who ate chocolate on a daily basis had higher sexual function than woman who did not.  Dark chocolate contains high levels of serotonin, a mood booster, and phenyl ethylamine which mimics the brain chemistry of a person in love. So maybe it’s not such a bad idea to buy her the box of chocolates after all.

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